Rectal-Cranial Inversion

A seven year old has been accused of sexual harassment after he kicked a bully in the twig & berries.   Take a look at the article.  According to the kid's mother, the bully was choking him in an attempt to steal his gloves.  In my opinion, the kid responded in-kind.  I'm willing to bet that bully will think twice before trying to take something that doesn't belong to him.  But to my point..if you want to chastise the boy for fighting, then I can deal...but don't accuse him of sexual harassment.  I mean...if we're going to do that, then (like the commenter said) charge the bully w/ attempted murder.  Let's move on to the real point...this is fucking stupid.  Whichever left wing fucktard came up w/ this brilliant idea needs to have their ass to ear ratio adjusted.  Oh, oh, oh....maybe they should be kicked in the balls.  Well...that last one will be pending until we figure out if they even have balls.

And the winner of the "My Brand New Hero" award goes to...

Apparently he didn't think that assuming the roll of one of the most celebrated action heroes was enough.  Now Daniel Craig has gone and done this.  I wonder if his "Double 0" status extends to the States.  Joint operation, maybe?  The Pentagon could just look other way for five minutes.  Three?  Better yet...maybe they can just blink really long...

Wow...Really?

 

After reading this story, the left & right sides of my brain turned to each other and said..."I'm takin' a nap."

       I was planning on discussing tonight's speeches, but I've decided to allowed "those who said it best" sum it up for you.  Click the audio below and save yourselves the better part of an hour.  Enjoy.

      I'm reminded of something Christopher Titus once stated.

"The mistake I made was after my last show I said, god give me a new idea for a new special, and god went, You're getting a divorce.  So it turns out you got to be a lot more fucking specific when you talk to god.  Don't just give him a blank slate and let him run with it."

      Something about this seems familiar.  I was amazed!  My last post goes up at 6am...long night...and then that afternoon, I get a request for help.  I remember thinking, "either somebody is as cloak & dagger as moi (which I'd be amazed and proud of), or the universe really likes to help a brother out." Then I find out that the universe really likes to screw w/ a brother.  I kind of feel like Daffy Duck when he tried his hand at being Robin Hood.  "Ho!  Haha!  Guard!  Turn!  Parry!  Dodge!  Spin!  Ha!  Thrust! (insert sound effect)" Poor Daffy.  Always with the beak.  Ah hell...at least I'm helping.  Not the sort of help I was shootin' for, but help nonetheless.  I guess beggars can't be choosers.  A win's a win.

      In my short time, on this rock, I've been through a lot.  Mind you, not as much as some...but I've had my fair share.  They've been painful experiences (physical & mental).  Honestly, I'd rather not have to experience them ever again.  They were not fun.  But I've found something that bothers me more.  It's having to stand idly by while a friend goes through one of these experiences.  In fact, it's two friends now.  Not connected, though.  Similar situations and similar personalities.  I'm not the "go to" for either of them.  But I sure as hell get to hear about both.  I just don't get to help.  A lot of people would stand here and say that they're glad that they don't have to be that "go to" person.  They are glad that they don't have to deal with someone else's bullshit.  Well...that's not me.  I don't do well with idle stances.  If I can help...I damn well want to help.  Hell...I don't know if I can help.  I don't know if I would say the right things.  All I know is that I hate being put on the sidelines when I have ideas.  I hate "thinking" that I could make it better.  I hate seeing a friend in pain.  I hate not being allowed to help.  It just tears me up inside. 

Stormwatch?!?

      Just one question...How the hell does this work?  You're going to put a core member of the League w/ these sociopaths from the Authority?  There's no way.  It won't work.  If you are going to write these guys the way they ought to be written, then there is no way the Authority can coexist w/ the League.  I mean...look what happened for the brief moment that Capt. Atom visited the Wildstorm universe.  KABOOM!!!  If Apollo & Midnighter are true to their original mold, then the moment they take a breath will be the moment that the goodie little two shoes JLA will try and shut them down.  Don't get me wrong...a "crispy burnt toast" version of the "twerp of steel" is rather intriguing.  Won't happen, but I can dream.  Anyway...here's an idea...can we just relaunch the Wildstorm imprint and be done w/ it?  I miss the Authority, WildCats, and even Majestros.  Psychopaths...all of them.  But it was a hell of a ride.  Although one good thing does come from this.  A joke:  it appears that there are now three "manhunters" in the DC universe.  Speaking of which, I wonder if they will maintain Apollo and Midnighter's marriage?  There's a bigger spotlight aimed at DC than there was at Wildstorm. 

Gettin' Old

      Reading the latest "AICN Comics Roundtable: The @$$holes dissect DC's September Relaunch" I realized that I'm getting old.  While I am concerned about the reset/reboot, I'm more focused on digital push.  Is DC pushing for an eventual shift to digital publishing?  It's a major concern for me.  Personally, I'd rather have the actual book in my hand. 
      One of the commentators stated, "Young people are ignoring the physical and going for the digital.  In fact, they have gotten so spoiled to these little gizmos being able to store everything they could ever want that they actually actively dislike having to manhandle their media." Spoiled?  Gizmos?  I believe these are the same words that my Grandfather used when he was complaining about tech in the 80's.  80's tech!?  They were complaining about walkmans, Zach Morris cell phones, and Nintendo's.  All technologies that are way pasted antiquated.  My point is that, while the actual arguments are different, they retain the same spirit.  My concern is that I'm on the other side now.

...and then Buffy staked Edward. THE END

But here's what really happened.

It's Just One of "Those" Days

Imagine...minding your own damn business!

            So I’m surfing the web today, trying to find some local parkour videos, when I somehow stumbled upon the “Freedom From Religion Foundation.” You know…that’s actually a lie.  I just now remembered how I came upon it.  It was a news piece that was on Youtube about how some billboards, the Foundation financed, were being pulled down.  The video’s title was something like “Religion kills free speech.” You know we could debate the whole idea of free speech and that bill board, but I only have one question.  Since the anti-religion billboard came down…can we get to work on pulling the pro-religious ones down too?  I’m not going to debate the merits of either side.  I will say that both sides really annoy the hell out of me.  The Christians (and every other religion for that matter) and the Atheists need to stay the fuck out of everybody else’s lives.  Hey, you believe in a higher power!?  Well good for you.  Go to church, read your bible, sing your songs, but do it without imposing your beliefs on other people.  Leave everybody else the fuck alone!  Atheists, you don’t believe in a higher power!?  Equally, good for you.  Don’t go to church, don’t read a bible, sing whatever song you have stuck in your head, but do it without imposing your beliefs on other people. 

            “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Or something like that.  I know you christians are supposed to spread the gospel, but what you really need to do is leave people alone.  Quit trying to get creationism taught in school.  School is for science, and church is for religion.  Atheists, stop bitching about “under god” in the pledge and “in god we trust” on money.  Do you really think they are going to reprint all that money?  Think about it for a second.  Imagine how massive an undertaking that would be.  Not going to happen.  The best you can hope for is that as the government panics and prints more money (oh and they will.  I can’t remember what political hack said it but he said that as long as we have paper and ink the U.S. won’t go bankrupt), they will cut corners and try to save the ink required to print that statement.  If I haven’t made my point clear, let me clarify it.  LEAVE EACH OTHER THE FUCK ALONE!  You’re a christian, good!  You’re and atheist, good!  Now shut up!

That is all

Oh yeah…one last thing.  If either one of you says that the other started it…I will smack the shit out of you!   

Now, that is all

Some of Jump City's Finest

And We're Back To Confusion

Up, down, left, right, black, white...WHAT THE FUCK?  Excuse my language, and I know I'll be angering some...but I'm going to quote the great Robin Williams.  "It makes not god damn sense!"

And this brings us to the anger portion of our little Shindig!

 

Operative:  

"Do you know what your sin is Mal?"

Malcolm Reynolds:

  "Ah Hell...I'm a fan of all seven. But right now...

I'm gonna have to go with wrath."

 

 

All Bitching Aside

 http://www.globalgiving.org/

http://www.savethechildren.org/ 

http://salvationarmyusa.org 

https://www.mercycorps.org/donate/japan

Whether it's through donating your time or your money, please take a moment and help our brothers and sisters in the Far East.

Whoops!

The GNC rep. must have said "Tiger Blood," not "Tiger Balm."  Now of course I'll probably go bat-shit crazy...but hey...that'd be whining, and not winning...right?  At least I won't feel all these aches and pains.  Hey...that sounded like a winning statement.  Right?  Right!  Now where's my machete....?

"I am not going to die today, because you cannot control your fear!  

Am I understood? Focus on the job at hand.

--Tyr Anasazi--

"Because the sun has not yet risen on the day when Tyr Anasazi, out of Victoria by Barbarosa, will face death graciously.  I will kick and claw and bite and scratch and spit my last breath in its face, and as long as you are with me, you will do the same.  Is that Clear?"

--Tyr Anasazi--

......

A friend pulled this from someone's tumblr and sent it my way. 

...And Then You Have One of These Days

Sisyphus

AHHHH!!!!!!!

I know how he feels.  So many times, this man (err...Duck) has had victory snatched from his grasp.  So many times the world has decided to throw physics out the window.  I mean...the man doesn't even get hit with the bow, but his beak goes 90 degrees.  Life's not fair, but it's something I've accepted.  It doesn't mean I can't bitch about it.  It doesn't mean that I can't blow up a small moon, to alleviate my frustration.  It just means that I know after I'm done, things will be the same.  Nothing will change, but maybe I'll be too exhausted to care.

Coincidence?

               1990 WWF Survivor Series vs. 2011 Grammy awards.  Just goes to show that their are no original ideas left.

Ending With A Whimper....

Ending with a whimper...instead of a bang.  No fuss, and no fanfare.  It's sort of heartbreaking.

Hulk Smash! vs. Bolshevik Muppet.........Pick your poison!

     I'm not going to get into details.  It's a personal matter.  What I will say is that it's not so much that I lost, rather it's the fact that he won!  Now don't get me wrong.  I truly want to win, but I'll settle on a stalemate.  I learned a long time ago that you don't always win.  There will be times when you will face an adversary that will either have a better skill set or a better hand.  In that moment there's usually not much that you can do.  You're facing an enemy that is superior.  In the past, when I've come to this conclusion, I usually change up my strategy.  If an option for a tie or a stalemate becomes available then it becomes my way out.  With my attention focused on forcing a draw, I am more than willing to ignore openings/traps that my opponent leaves behind.  Hell at this point, I'll settle for anything to keep the prize out of this guy's hands.  He doesn't deserve it, and he sure as hell doesn't know how to treat it.  Honestly, I don't even know if I was ever a serious competitor.  Like I said, it's not about a personal win...it's about him losing.  So as we are counting down the final hours, it appears that he will be victorious.  And it's that simple fact that is driving me over the edge (insane).  That's the reason I've offered up a choice.  When I actually go over the edge, will the end result be "Hulk SMASH" or will I go the way of our favorite Bolshevik Muppet, Crazy Harry.  While the methods vary, the end result is the same.  Total destruction!  Snarling green monster of destruction, or insane bomb enthusiast?  You make the call.