In my short time, on this rock, I've been through a lot.  Mind you, not as much as some...but I've had my fair share.  They've been painful experiences (physical & mental).  Honestly, I'd rather not have to experience them ever again.  They were not fun.  But I've found something that bothers me more.  It's having to stand idly by while a friend goes through one of these experiences.  In fact, it's two friends now.  Not connected, though.  Similar situations and similar personalities.  I'm not the "go to" for either of them.  But I sure as hell get to hear about both.  I just don't get to help.  A lot of people would stand here and say that they're glad that they don't have to be that "go to" person.  They are glad that they don't have to deal with someone else's bullshit.  Well...that's not me.  I don't do well with idle stances.  If I can help...I damn well want to help.  Hell...I don't know if I can help.  I don't know if I would say the right things.  All I know is that I hate being put on the sidelines when I have ideas.  I hate "thinking" that I could make it better.  I hate seeing a friend in pain.  I hate not being allowed to help.  It just tears me up inside.